What Lies Beneath

What lies beneath my skin is fear.
Fear that I wont succeed
Fear that I cannot withstand damage
Fear that my ideas are looked upon without care.
Fear that I cannot act upon what I truly feel.

Fuck fear and all it's games and disguises.
I will succeed.
I will withstand any damage inflicted upon myself be it physical or mental,
For I am stronger than I appear.
My ideas are my own, And it is upon my own action that they will fail or be seen without care
These are the fears I can address without consequence.

By my own nature I feel I am a protector, possibly a warrior of sort.
My greatest challenge thus-far in life is to find a way to be that protector/warrior for others when in need and not fear the consequence,
For I can deal with pain and sorrow, But I cannot deal with the pain and sorrow of those closest to me.
I was born in a time where I cannot take action in my own hands and it is left to someone without proper knowledge or emotion of the situation.
For this is the role I have chosen in my past life that has carried over to this life and I cannot act upon it without being seen as a vigilante
For what truly lies beneath is the fear that I have not confronted, And the fear that i'm more capable of my unknown ability

Back in the day

Why can't Saturdays be like the Sundays of yesteryear?
For those that are not in the know Sundays back in the day the only things that were open were church and Chinese food restaurants. Why can't weekends be like that I bet there would be less craziness afoot in the world today And people just maybe healthier(sp?)

But think of it this way back In the day you actually saw most of your family and friends.
Look how that's changed over the last 30 years or so when is the last time you have seen your extended family not counting funerals and weddings.
It used to be common practice.
Big gatherings and dinners with uncles aunts grand ma's and grand pa's etc and friends from the neighborhood all on Sundays.
People used to shut down streets and have a street a cue (whole street BBQ )

Now when's the last time you actually saw any of this?

When's the last time anyone saw or actually knew everyone within at least a 2 street radius of where you lived?

Hell I remember when I used to know everyone that lived around me and there phone numbers from memory.

Now I know no one that really lives around me with exception of a few never mind there phone #'s

Now can I blame some of this on myself?
Of course I can

But as a whole the mass majority of people don't care anymore
Were all robots and sheep the majority of us.
And it's fucking sickening. 

Gone are the days when people where people
Family was family (including friends as family) 

Here's To Freedom...

All though ive never expirienced this

 It is one of things i hope to do before i die and is one of the many images that go through my mind when i think of freedom from the everyday bullshit that we go through in what we call life.

Here's to freedom.

To those that obtain it never falter and join the rest of us in what we call "life".

To the people(myself included) find your freedom & do your best to grasp it as soon as possible.

Because the life that we are "living"now is not living.

We are existing to perpetuate meaningless bullshit that helps next to no one.

Have you ever seen someone try to learn something and all of a sudden it clicks in there head and that they learned something new?Better yet were you the one helping them understand?

That's life right there you are experiencing.

My rants may make no sense to some & they may to others.

They are what you make of it.

I see it as myself growing in a different way and learning new ways and new things im interested in.

So to anyone that reads this i hope i made your brain twitch and turn on and think rather that just get slammed with meaningless nonsense that floods the world today. 

Are you free or do you posses the illusion of freedom?

Have you actually thought if life was predetermined?

How old you get? 

Where you go?

What you do ?

How you live?

Now i personally know people have choices in everyday life.

But what predetermines the situations we run into everyday?

The choices we make through the day?

Is that the answer?

It's a valid possibility.

But then that leaves nothing in life a possibility as a random.

Are people supposed to fail in a whole to learn?

Or do we fail to see how we rebound from the failure?

And during the rebound is it the choices we make during recovery that determine if we rise or fall?

Does that determine on how we as people will respond/deal with success or failure for the rest of our life?

And do the above choices reflect on how we deal with social interaction with each other?

Do family,friends & society influence the choices we make in life for better or worse?

And if they do you really have any choices in life that are your own? 

The Placebo Effect

You know when you feel sick you take medication whether it be over the counter or a prescription from a doctor.
Who says said medicine is actually medicine?
For all the general public knows it could be a mixed bag of ingrediants like sugar,flour etc...
Bring in the placebo effect.
It's amazing on how one feels sick one moment & you pop a pill & almost instantly feel better the next moment.
Even though it's probably no scientifically possible for said drug to digest that fast.
Which brings the question?
Is there any real medicine out there?
Or is it all a placebo effect & the mind is the varying factor telling you your sick and when your ok?
What a tool the mind is.
It can induce pain& suppress it.
It can instill fear or surpass it.
Maybe everyone is bio-engineered & we dont know it & it is hidden from us.
Or is it a placebo feed to is in a form that we do not yet know? 

Goals and Aspirations

Hmm a tricky mistress this is.
Everyone/anyone can have a goal.
I think we are all pretuned from the beginning to do this.
A house with a white picket fence & all that malarkey.
There can be issues with this.
So my stance is not to have goals & aspirations per say but to have ideas.
With an idea you can tweek and change it,But once you set a goal or have an aspiration for yourself and if you never attain it oneself feels like they have failed in one way shape or form.
Ideas are the new future.
You cant get disappointed from an idea there always changing like life.
Unknown and everlasting 

My Own Enemy

It is not death i fear

It is the life that i have created in my minds eye that i have not expirienced is my fear

You are your own worst enemy

You create a false existance and make your self miserable trying to attain your dreamed position

Imagination friend or foe?